I never thought

I never thought. (If it’s more painful, then it’s better for you.) It’s not the mountain challenge. Not because it’s there. I’m confused. But why are there ways to turn that all seem uneasy and why is it hard to feel my way Why can’t I stop trying? There’s no halfway that feels whole. There’s no easy way to struggle and the struggle’s all I have to do. All I’ve made before, I am. I’ve had no more. Each end has been broken off something I need. They all are living in my still; I can’t stop trying.

September 1971