Revenge

Someone stole my bike. Cut the chain that kept it to the sewer pipe. Cheap diversion: I imagine catching the guy, but I don't enjoy this entertainment. I don't believe I’ll see my bike again, and I don’t enjoy thinking about it. Does crime pay? Consider both the emotional and the monetary rewards. Many of us enjoy shows of risk and violence— daredevil cop shows war movies detective spy thriller adventure cowboy danger, the old-fashioned “I’ll do it my way,” even if it is against the law. A thief may easily assume a higher responsibility, and think that this superiority can lead to glory; save the poor; get rich quick; no risk, no gain, we say. Creeping into a dark and rainy village with a gun or a bolt cutter (the heart surges with adrenalin; senses sharpen) can do wonders for depression and help with next month’s rent. It’s also a balm for bitterness. Poverty, passivity, are bitter for the soul who penetrates the dark to get back at those who have, liberate my bicycle with a bolt cutter. I take a lot of time to consider, can’t sleep, angry, reason, confused. Deprivation is the root of depravity. Why crime and why revenge.

12 March 1986, Menlo Park