Increase (Waiting)

I am not as I appear—I am an imitator. Every word I say is the result of close study. My expressions, gestures, postures are copied from actors in the movies. Each appearance is a performance. My clothes, my car, my home, my wife have been chosen for their effects. If I am not an American, at least I am like Americans in this. I arise from nothing and I leave nothing behind. My people are murdered, my homeland is abandoned, my language is forgotten, my religion is empty without its place and people, the skills that I took so much patience to learn are useless now. New skills, new faith, new language, new places, new people—I cast out the bad as well as the good. If there’s anything I want to save, then I must keep it deep inside. I have shaped myself like clay and hardened it in fire. The kiln grows hotter, and everything that burns is lost.