I’m such a romantic

Story ring design: Lightning, bear claw, sun, moon, star, forest, rain, wind

I’m such a romantic,
a dreamer after smiles and embraces,
after a dream of perfect human consummation.
But I told myself that no one’s perfect.
Perfection, I told myself, was cruel.
I told myself it didn’t matter
that the woman whom I loved
had to live a different life.
It didn’t matter that my girlfriend was untrue
in her fashion.
Only one person, I thought,
was like my mother,
and I didn’t want to marry my mother.
I would decide whom to be with,
and when to trust, and how to give,
and I wouldn’t fall on my nose in love.
I would speak boldly of intimacy and sex:
I would say “Do you want to fuck”
without embarrassment or shame.
The mating of male and female
wasn’t sacred to me; I chose this.
I told myself that some desires
are, by their nature, unobtainable.
Like heaven, they couldn’t be had
in this life.
I told myself that I wasn’t a romantic,
that I didn’t want the ideal tyranny of desire,
but I was lying to myself.
I always have wanted to live
happily ever after.
I just didn’t give myself the chance,
until sometime after meeting you.
For Gretchen, Ring Poem Two.

Lightning (from the story ring)