Chapter 7. Catholic

Ex cathedra

The pope is infallible only when he is speaking ex cathedra, that is, making an official statement “from the chair, or office.” This infallibility is a gift of the Holy Spirit who protects the pope from doing anything stupid.


Roman emperors strove to be godlike in their own time and to be worshiped as gods after they died. Seems as though the Roman Catholic Church hasn’t fully abandoned those dreams of greatness. They say its doctrine is infallible and it is the prolific creator of saints, starting with the popes (nine of them are now saints), and over fourteen hundred others.

Beatific vision

Saints enjoy beatific vision, but if you’re a normal person and you want to hear from God or see Him face to face then talk to your priest.

Virgin birth

The cute thing about the story is that Joseph believed her.

Noah’s ark

It makes a nice story— the world gone bad but purged of its sins and sinners, then promised by God to be protected hereafter. Although neither the ark nor the flood (as described) would be possible, people have continued to search for its physical remains on Mount Ararat and elsewhere.

Selling indulgences

The church still offers indulgences but just doesn’t sell them, although of course you are encouraged to give however much you can.


Let’s not forget about angels. They might be in the music of this line; they might be making your life better. The Ophanim who guard God’s throne may be sending their wisdom to you now. I might know nothing about it. The angels who deliver God’s mercy to balance injustice and misery may be looking over your shoulder. If your guardian angel hasn’t been active lately, maybe kind thoughts need to go both ways. Angels might be leaping into my words so that when you read this, watch out, they might be leaping out to you.