I restrain myself

When I feel like running and I’ve no reason to run, like yelling as loud as I possibly can, not really caring who hears, “The time is now!” like taking the stairs two steps at once, quickly, and stopping at the top to close my eyes and wait for it breathlessly to catch up with me, contented; The tension is released for a moment in now: Freedom is the time to restrain myself (self-tension); the opportunity to pass off some moments with only emotion. When I feel like yelling I restrain myself.

November 1970