Trite Advice

for Alan Acacia

I. Friend, you are not truly humble in my opinion; the best advice on this problem is Ben Franklin’s “Humility.” He said “Imitate Jesus & Socrates.” They didn’t feel they had to prove that they were who they were. True humility consists, not in belittleing oneself, but in not caring if others think so. Ben said pride was the hardest thing for him to overcome; he knew that if he could overcome it completely he’d be proud of it. II. Dear Depressed: Have you considered the negative ion? Do you feel better when you shower? There are many causes of unmotivated depression, including diet & a lack of negative ions in the air you breathe. Trying to get over a bad relationship? Then scourge like bad habits those causes. Spend some time on the sea shore, and breathe a little fresh air. “Negative ions,” says Medearis, “clean the air.”

8 August 1978

San Francisco Examiner, 8 August 1978