I left my wife in Seattle. From there I took a boat. First off, I was robbed. I got a job in Juneau. I was the bouncer at a bar. It wasn’t any fun either. When drunk, they’d just pull a gun on you. I’d have to hit them from behind. Things got pretty rough. They’d pay a month’s gold getting drunk, and the cheap whiskey just made ’em mean. But this was better than the gold fields. I wasn’t earning much, so I left after two months. It was a muddy summer. I sent a letter to Alice. Never got an answer. Bought equipment from a loser. Took a boat to Anchorage. This time I watched myself. Anchorage was a hell-hole. Lots of gold and not much sense. They’d sweat it out of the mountains, lose it in the whorehouse or at the table playing dice, and get it back in the alley. Murderers were plentiful and doctors were few. I knew something of the trade, so I put up for morphine and a bag. Seemed more trouble than it was worth. If I knew one wouldn’t pull through I didn’t waste my time on him. Couldn’t get the right drugs but I made do with alcohol. Whiskey, blood, and pain. Wouldn’t say I was unethical. Just call it self-defense. I had a room at O’Henry’s. There I heard of Fishwheel. Nuggets you could pick up, they said. Some drunkards lie, I thought. You have to know what you’re doing. The claim office was booming. A panner could make a bundle, but a cutthroat even more, until he got his throat cut. I saved the life of an Indian. Got rowdy in a bar. Was waving his hat in he air. Some card shark took offense, and let on about his mother. I guess it made a difference. He pulled a knife. I was right there, so I hit him on the head. I dragged him to my room. Let him sleep it off. He came to in the morning. I told him what I’d done. His head hurt. But he was all right. I didn’t charge him nothing either. We took breakfast at Sue’s. He told me about Fishwheel. I guessed I could believe him. By this time, it was Fall. Ice was forming in the Susitna. He wanted to go back up. Made it sound good. I knew it wasn’t easy, but I figured I could do it. He said his name was Fox. In three days, we were outfitted. It was a long trip up. We ran into some bad luck. Met these panners going south. They asked us for some food. We looked at them and gave it. They said they wanted it all. My gun said they didn’t . . .
1 January 1978