He grasped my trembling hand in the dark And folded his other hand over it In a reassuring way Then letting go gradually He pulled back the gift of his fingers pocketing his resolve The night music whistled Through the movie poster palms I could hear the slap of the waves meeting the shore And the sibilance of their return Leading me lightly by the elbow we walked through cobbled streets I felt the naked black stones through my shredded sandals I wasn’t sure I was awake We were so alike the two of us equally pathetic and royally magnificent When the weak sides coincided there was no one there to take care of us Except for a wonderful short while when we shared our house in the redwoods with another couple who liked to boss us around And when their house was ready when it ended You and I stood face to face forced to acknowledge the enormity of this existential accident The box flew open and all the angels wore satan’s masks And all the devils whispered Freedom at any cost I thank you for the distant memories bound in loves declensions this gift of sweet sorrows you left behind The print by the bed in the red carpet made by your slippers The acrid mix—honey and nightshade on the pillow The tin box of letters beside the blue lamp I had to shake us loose The words became your body our domain of sweet lies You had by then a whole life somewhere else without me While I lived between the lines of your poetry And mine Provincetown, MA, 2017/2025
Hiding Out