Rich Macduffy

If you declare your home a micronation, can’t you avoid paying taxes? I just wanted control over my own space for a change.

I got laid off from my job as night watchman. They said I slept on the job, but how were they to know that? Anyway, I had some free time while I waited for unemployment insurance, so I declared myself a citizen of the space around me, a three-yard radius around me, the Nation of Macduffyland. I wrote a constitution. I designed a state flag. I appointed myself President for Life. The state flag is a my face with a tartan in the background. I awarded myself medals for bravery, independence, and being smart. Each medal has a bit of tartan ribbon hanging from it. I pin them to my chest. You’ve got to make it obvious that you’re a free man. Otherwise, people make assumptions. They assume that you’re a slave like them. A slave to their bosses. A slave to a government that was not democratically elected. Not me. I’m a sovereign person.

I figured that you couldn’t run your own nation unless it had a constitution and issued its own stamps. Conversely, there’s not much else that holds a nation together. There’s nothing theoretically special about the large nations except for their size.

Constitution of the State of Macduffyland.

President for Life, Rich Macduffy, sovereign ruler of Macduffyland, hereby establishes this constitution as the governing and supreme law of Macduffyland, which is the area around all citizens extending three-yards in all directions!

Article 1. Citizenship. The first permanent citizen of Macduffyland is Rich Macduffy. Any person allowed by Rich Macduffy into Macduffyland (such as a girlfriend or mate), if they abide by the values described in this constitution, is a temporary citizen of Macduffyland. Moreover, Rich Macduffy may declare any temporary citizen to be a permanent citizen, whereupon the area of Macduffyland will extend three-yards around the permanent citizen, as well as around Rich.

Article 2. Values.

All citizens of Macduffyland deserve respect. No spiritual, legal, or physical constraints shall be imposed upon them if the purpose is to make them feel bad, or to do bad things.

The territorial integrity of Macduffyland is inviolatable.

All citizens of Macduffyland may live freely, without anyone else telling them what to do or when to get up in the morning.

Citizens of Macduffyland shall respect the human rights of all persons and animals, except insects and rodents. No creature too large or too small shall be harmed, regardless of their gender, sexual preference, religion, language, culture, or foul and smelly habits. Birds, in particular, shall be honored and admired.

Article 3. Powers.

Each citizen of Macduffyland shall decide who does what and if there is an objection by another citizen, then it shall be decided by mutual agreement who does what.

Only the President for Life may declare war; however, no wars will be fought. It all stops with the declaration. Macduffyland is a non-violent nation.

This constitution, ratified by all citizens of Macduffyland, on 1 January 2000 on the Gregorian calendar, is effective immediately.

At least in principle, I have it made.