Greenback phobia

Emergency rooms in Washington, D.C., are increasingly finding cases of an extreme phobia to paper bills. Innocent individuals, especially bank and box office clerks, can become paranoid when, after handling cash, they feel symptoms of euphoria, quickened heartbeat, increased talkativeness, and susceptibility to Freudian analysis. An ER nurse speculates that the origin of the phobia is the amount of drugs, particularly cocaine, that sticks to U.S. bills, and recommends handling your cash only with surgical nitrile gloves.