Lying Larry

Around 1875, the Marquis of Cornwall, Lawrence von Taradiddle, became known for the fact that he was fully incapable of telling the truth. His parents had passed away before he could thank them and he was left with a fortune that guaranteed he would be a success no matter how he behaved. His servants knew how to get around him. Because he was an alcoholic, he would always say “No” if they were to ask “Would you like another bourbon?” But if he said “No” when they asked, “Shall we invite the curate for dinner,” then they would invite the curate. However he answered, they would assume the opposite. His mendacity was evident not only in answering questions, but also in unprovoked assertions. To the curate, he once say, “Other parishioners tell me they hope you choke on an egg.” To his groundskeeper he said, “This year I want to see no flowers and no blossoms, please.” With his friends, after dinner, in front of the fireplace with his pipe and his sniffer of bourbon, he would tell stories. He would claim that, with a rifle, he never missed his target. One afternoon, he shot 350 partridges. He said he knew for a fact that bourbon cures the common cold. He would say every woman he ever met loved him with a passion and they all asked to marry him. He claimed to have made his own hot air balloon, so, from the air, with a spyglass, he was able to correct mistakes in the property lines in Cornwall. He said that the queen asked him to lead an army regiment in place of the Prince of Wales but he didn’t want to embarrass the prince so he declined.