Appetite

The appetite of man is like a mountain, or like a volcano because it grows. One may visualize a caricature of the gross medieval glutton behind platters of pies and roast meats with a leg of turkey in his right mitt and a flagon of ale in his left, but this sin has a much earlier origin, deserving several condemnations in Deuteronomy and Proverbs. Some people never get enough. There is nothing they will not eat if it can be cut into bite-size pieces, chewed, and swallowed. The secret of eating hot dogs to set any sort of record is to chew as little as possible. Just swallow those puppies whole. A glutton grows not by spewing, but by consuming puddings, brews, spuds, steaks, sauces, and stews, increasing the fat about his body. As a whole, the appetite of man grows in proportion to his numbers and to his ability to supply his table. Naturally, this insists that the earth exists only to satisfy his excesses.