William was a millionaire

The habits of the wealthy were too rich for William’s system, like eating eclairs for every meal. Like Jiggs in “Bringing Up Father,” William preferred corned beef, cabbage, and beer at the tavern. He had moved to a small town, and when someone asked where he got his money, he said he had a rich uncle, but didn’t know how long the old man would keep supporting him. He said he invented the machine that folds facial tissues so each pulls the next from the box. He said he won the lottery many years ago, but now the money’s mostly gone. In fact, however, he had owned a company, worked for twenty years, then sold it to his competitor. Now he secretly manages annuities that have bet he’ll die before they’ve paid him all back.