Zoölogical Confession

I work when I am sleepy, I eat when I am full. What is relativity? It depends. What is love? E = mc2? Do you believe in UFOs? Tell me more. Tell me how to name an owl by its “who.” I am human. What other animal insists: Buy now and save, Jesus loves you, Lose 50 pounds in 5 easy weeks, Follow your heart, Get rich without a penny of your own money, and Love me—love my dog? What other animal worries about objectivity and happiness? I tell you I am weird. Please, don’t tell me. I like to urinate and I do it all the time. I asked you not to tell me that. Ask me again and I’ll tell you the same.

26 June 1981