Temple of Modern Gods

“Here at the Temple of Modern Gods we beseech and pray to gods who are relevant to people today.” We met with Priest Parker Poly whose long white hair and beard contrasted with his black robes with deep sleeves. The temple was on floor twenty-four of a skyscraper in downtown Los Angeles. “People today don’t care much about Demeter or Ceres, goddesses of harvests. They are not generally worried about the behaviors of Hermes, Jupiter, Juno, or Jacheongbi.” “However, we can really get their attention when we talk about Constance, the Goddess of Driver Safety, Ernie, the God of Job Promotions, or Gilda, the Goddess of Good Investments.” “For the kids, Easy, the Goddess of Testing, or more generally Gary, the God of Good Grades. Also Trudy, the Goddess of Texting, and Axel the God of Internet Access get a lot of interest.” “We also do sacrificial burnings. Parishioners write prayers that we burn at the altar. An efficient fan system carries the smoke out of the temple. From there, we believe that angels catch the smoke of our messages and carry it to the appropriate god or goddess.”