A Start?

I am a weird animal. I work when I’m sleepy, I eat when I’m full. What is relativity? I think of it all the time (but I don’t know; it depends). (I can talk. I can say weird things. Buy now and save.) I am erinaceous, except I cut the hair off my face. (A hampster doesn’t cut the hair off its face.) Listen to this: E = mc2. What does it mean? Calenture, calescence? And that’s not all. Jesus loves you. Lose 50 pounds (in 5 easy weeks); follow your heart. Get rich without a penny (of your own money). (Do you walk on two feet? I do) but I don’t fly. Do you believe in UFOs? Ask me again and I’ll tell you the same. I even talk to myself. Me first, I say. I’m not jealous—I hate your friend. Love me—love my dog. I like to urinate and I do it all the time.

18 June 1981