1895

Antivenom

• Louis Pasteur charged Albert Calmette in 1891 with
• founding a branch of the Pasteur Institure in Saigon
• where Calmette studied snake and bee venoms.
• Back in Paris and realizing that toxicology
• could learn from immunology,
• Calmette injected diluted cobra venom into horses.
• The immune response of the horses produced antibodies
• that were separated from the horses’ blood
• to create Calmette’s serum, the first antivenom.

Pasteur Institute

• anthrax
• rabies
• smallpox
• typhoid
• gangrene
• influenza
• diphtheria
• syphilis
• bubonic plague
• tetanus
• tuberculosis
• leprosy
• typhus
• polio
• yellow fever

Cures for what ails

• For the creation of the anti-fear vaccine
• we injected fear metabolics into rabbits
• but the rabbits’ immune systems,
• instead of creating antibodies,
• created only more fear metabolics.
• We experimented with means
• to create an anti-boredom vaccine,
• but the results were boring.
• Our anti-stupidity vaccine initially resulted
• in a 56% decrease in stupidity; however,
• the positive results did not continue
• after our patients left the clinic,
• but had the opposite effect—
• their egos outshining their curiosities.
• We learned from our mistakes,
• and began promoting pan-ethnic
• and pan-religious activities in preschools
• as an antidote to violence.
• A huge goal for this century
• inspires our scientists every day
• in their relentless search for a cure for war.